I'm Not the Only One
by SalvatoreGirl
Summary: Quinn has been through a lot of hurt, her life is crumbling in ways she never imagined. But how did she get here?
1. Chapter 1:Not the Only One

I'm Not the Only One

"Hello?" Quinn called out walking over the threshold into her home. There was no reply. She sighed and set her bag down on the bench by the door and turned on the light on her way to the kitchen.

Quinn took a look in the fridge and then the freezer for something to make for dinner, she found nothing of interest. Instead she reached for a bottle of wine. Quinn uncorked it and poured herself a large glass before sitting on the couch in front of the television. She flipped on the Bachelor and reached her phone.

No unread messages.

Quinn clicked the phone icon and dialed her husband's number, "Hi you've reached Finn I can't get to the phone right now please-" She angrily hung up, straight to voicemail. _Where was he?_

She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. She didn't want to think the worst, but that's where her mind went anyway. It always did, but what else was she to think when he was out every other night of the week. She never knew where exactly he was or what went on. All she knew was that he came home late and smelled like booze.

She shook her head, instead choosing to focus on the reality love show in front of her. As fake as the fancy dates, and as staged as the mansion that they were living in was, the way that the man looked at the women was real. He was falling in love. Quinn remembered what it felt like to be looked at like that and it made her heart ache.

A few tears slipped down her cheeks as she sat alone on the couch. She wiped the tears away with the back of her hand, _why am I crying?_ She thought to herself. _I don't even know what the truth is. I don't know what he's doing. Maybe it's nothing._ But even her own voice in her head wasn't convincing.

XXX

"Hey honey, I'm going to have to work late tonight." Finn stated tightening his tie as he came downstairs into the kitchen the next morning. "We have this huge meeting coming up that I have to get ready for." He kissed Quinn on the cheek before filling his cup of coffee from the pot that Quinn had brewed.

"Okay, good luck with the meeting preparations" Quinn forced a smile at him. "I'll see you whenever you get back."

"Bye Quinn." Finn waved as he exited, the sound of the bolt sliding into the door behind him echoed in the empty house.

Quinn leaned against the counter and took a long breath in and looked around her feeling lonelier than she ever had. That's when she noticed Finn's phone left on the counter. She couldn't help herself, she walked over and picked it up hesitating before she typed in the passcode and clicked on messages.

There were messages from an unsaved number, Quinn clicked on the number hoping that it was just a text sent to the wrong number or a contractor at work that he hadn't saved the number to. She held the phone against her chest and said a short prayer before she read the messages.

 **Unknown: hey baby, you still meeting me tonight?**

 **Finn: I wouldn't miss it baby.**

 **Unknown: Good, I've been missing you.**

 **Finn: We were together last night**

 **Unknown: I know but I can't help but miss how your lips feel on mine. I'll see you tonight. I love you. Xoxo**

 **Finn: I love you too.**

Tears slipped down Quinn's cheeks as she re-read the text messages over and over. She almost couldn't believe that it was happening. She had accused him of this before, it caused a huge argument. He said that she was crazy and that there was no way he'd ever cheat on her. The night of that argument he came home with a dozen roses and apologized for working so much. He looked her in the eyes and told her he loved her.

Apparently she wasn't the only one that he said "I love you" to.

She set the phone down gently and grabbed her purse, headed for the door. She wiped the tears away from her cheeks and just as she went to go open the door Finn stood in the doorway, "I forgot my phone" he muttered rushing in and then back out, phone in hand, just as quickly as he'd come in.

He was too engrossed in the fact that he left the phone that he didn't notice the mascara lines on Quinn's cheeks from the tears she'd been sheading only moments ago or that she had her bag and keys in hand despite the fact that she wasn't working today. _Does he even notice me?_ Quinn thought

As soon as she heard his car pull out of the driveway and away from the house, she opened up the door and got into the car herself. Where she was going, she didn't know.

XXX

Quinn drove for almost an hour where she wound up in their small hometown of Lima, Ohio. She thought about stopping to see her mother, but that was no use. She was probably not even home, _probably traveling with her new boyfriend_ she added bitterly.

She decided she was hungry and ended up at breadstix, one of her favorite places being that Italian was her go to comfort food. She sat, and ordered a glass of wine with her bowl of pasta. As she sat there, lost in her thoughts, and binging on breadsticks, the door to the restaurant opened and something made Quinn look up.

Standing there in dress blues was none other than Noah Puckerman. He looked around the restaurant and his brown eyes landed on hers.

He looked shocked to see her, but then again she felt the same way about seeing him again.

Before she knew what she was doing she stood and ran into his arms, squeezing him tightly, "You're back" she mumbled into his chest. She felt his arms wrap around her as well and instantly everything from the morning felt like a distant memory.

"Yeah, Q… I'm back" He said back, a small smile forming on his face. It felt good to see her, good to feel her small arms squeezing him tightly in a hug like they did just a few years ago.

They sat down together and spent the next few hours catching up, taking, laughing, things that old friends do. They talked about how life had been, Quinn leaving out the part about Finn's apparent infidelity. Puck talked about the air force, leaving out that his last deployment had almost been his last.

Even to an old friend, there are just things you can't say.

XXX

"So Mrs. Hudson" Quinn cringed as it came out of his mouth, "How come there are no little one's running around? I thought you were big on kids, being a pediatric nurse and all. Big career shift by the way" He laughed.

"I just…" She paused, "Finn is all busy with his career so there's just no time for them."

His eyebrows furrowed, "And you're okay with that?" He took a sip of his beer, "That's not something I ever saw you compromising on. Not after Beth."

"Things change I guess" Quinn mumbled nibbling on another breadstick.

He looked at her for a long time, "that they do." He finally replied back.

XXX

On the drive back home all Quinn could think about was where everything went wrong. Not just with Finn, but in her life. What happened with Puck, and when did she start compromising on her dreams? She thought back to when she finished nursing school and knew that almost everything could be traced back to one memory.

Two months after graduating and obtaining her license Quinn was at work when a trauma came into the ER. Car crash. Two critical. One child, age 8. One adult age 43. Quinn rushed out to help and gasped when she saw the child that was laying on the gurney.

Beth. Her baby girl, Beth.

There was a lot going on around her but everything suddenly seemed miles away, she couldn't breathe. Quinn felt her knees give out beneath her and just as she was about to hit the ground someone caught her. She didn't know who, but they held onto her tightly as she sobbed, feeling like her heart was being ripped out of her chest.

Nothing ever hurt like this. Nothing ever would.

On September 28 at 7:58pm, Beth Cochran passed away from a traumatic brain injury she received in the crash.

XXX

At the funeral for Beth, Quinn hardly spoke to anyone. She watched as everyone came up to Shelby and apologized for her loss. She knew that Shelby was feeling almost the same pain she was, but she couldn't help but be somewhat bitter toward the adoptive mother of Beth.

Finn came up and hugged his wife, "Quinn it's going to be okay, I know you're sad, I am too."

Quinn pushed him away, "Sad?" she said through gritted teeth, "You think I'm sad? I'm not sad, I'm destroyed. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't DO anything. I don't want to do anything. I am not sad. Sad is not the word you use for a _mother_ who lost her _child._ " Quinn spat. "And you don't get to comfort me and say you're sad, you're _not_ her father and you never even wanted anything to do with her. So get away from me." Quinn spun on her heel and walked outside of the church.

The air was already cold, and Quinn's breath came out in puffs in front of her. She wrapped her arms around herself and looked at the grey clouds looming up above her head. More tears fell down her cheeks. _Why?_ Quinn asked looking up, begging for some kind of answer.

She got no response besides a rustling of leaves on the ground.

Quinn jumped when a hand laid on her shoulder. She turned and saw Puck, "Hey Q" he wrapped her in a hug.

She didn't hug him back.

He let go and they were both silent for a long time, for the first time in five years they had nothing to say to one another. So Puck took her hand and she let him be her support.

It wasn't until after the funeral that Quinn finally spoke, "So you think that after all this time you can walk back in here and just be the knight in shining armor again… that was you at the hospital wasn't it?"

Puck nodded, "Yeah, I made it there… just to hear what happened, I didn't know what else to do." He spoke calmly.

Quinn's voice rose, "You don't get to come here and act like-"

"Quinn don't start with me, she was my daughter too. I lost her too. WE lost her." Puck snapped back at her.

Tears fell down Quinn's cheeks again, "You're right… I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do with myself. I yell at Finn because he doesn't understand what this feels like. I lost a huge part of me. I feel like I can't breathe anymore. I don't know how to be me knowing that she isn't down the street for me to go visit…. I don't-"Her voice broke off and the sobs came.

"You don't have to know right now, just take it one day at a time. That's all either of us can do."

Two days later Noah Puckerman left for deployment. That was the last time he spoke to Quinn.

XXX

It was 2am when Finn got home. Quinn was lying in bed pretending to be asleep when he walked into their room and started to get ready for bed. She choked back a sob feeling the bed shift from the added weight. "Baby, is something wrong?" Finn asked noticing her sniffling.

"Don't call me that." Quinn whispered.

"What?"

"I said don't call me that." She repeated no louder than the first time.

"Why wouldn't I call you that?" Finn seemed confused.

"Because I know I'm not the only one." She stated calmly pulling the blankets closer around her shoulders.

Finn had no reply.


	2. Chapter 2:I Don't Drink Red

I Don't Drink Red

"Hey Q," Finn smiled coming down the stairs and kissing her on the forehead as if nothing had ever changed between them. "I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date tonight. I know I've been working late a lot and I just wanted to make it up to you."

Quinn was quiet. Her heart was pounding. She did love him. She had married him, _maybe he just made a mistake_. She thought, and before she could stop herself the word yes slipped from her lips.

"Where would you like to go?" Finn inquired as he picked up his bag for work, double checking to make sure he had everything he needed. "We could go to our place. You know the one with the really good cheesecake"

Quinn's heart melted watching his eyes shine like they did when they were younger, "Yeah," she smiled slightly, "I'd like that."

"Perfect." He kissed her quickly on the lips, "I am going to be off by five, I'll come home and you be ready okay?"

She nodded and watched him walk out the door. She couldn't help but let her mind wander back to where they started. They'd been through so much since then, grown up together. It seemed crazy that they started as a high school couple and minus a few hiccups, they'd made it all this time.

XXX

It was the summer after her junior year of college when she ran into Finn again. She had finished her first year in nursing school and was out celebrating with her friends at a local bar when she spotted him sitting there sipping a beer. He didn't notice her immediately, seemingly preoccupied.

Quinn walked over to where he was sitting and took the empty bar stool next to him, "Hey stranger" She stated with a coy smile.

He looked up and a big goofy grin spread out across his face, "Quinn! What are you doing here?"

"I'm celebrating my acceptance into nursing school, what are you doing here?" She asked playfully punching him in the arm, "Aren't you supposed to be in the Army or something?"

"I uh-" he paused scratching his head, "This is embarrassing and I'm a little too drunk to care but I got kicked out for shooting myself in the foot. I went to go visit Rachel in New York and try to live there with her but instead she dumped me for being a loser." He took a swig of his beer and shrugged, "Who could blame her?"

"Oh please, she's been in one broadway show and her head grew eight sizes bigger than it already was. Don't worry about her. You'll figure things out and be great. I know it." Quinn smiled reassuringly.

"You're drunk too" Finn laughed seeing the way she was being carefree and not her usual Queen-Bee self.

She nodded and giggled, "Maybe a little, but I'm partying before my life is over so," she slammed her hands on the bar, "You should buy me a drink." She smirked.

Finn laughed harder, "No, you should buy me a drink, I'm the one who got dumped."

"Well so did I so how about you buy me one and I'll buy you one." Quinn countered with her signature eyebrow raise.

"Deal."

Two hours later Finn was walking Quinn back to her apartment down the street, "You know I miss talking to you… I forgot how funny you were when you weren't bossing me around." Finn said playfully running into her.

Quinn stumbled and laughed, "Oh trust me, no one bossed you around like Rachel Berry. She had me beat in the bossy department."

"Alright you got me there, but still I wish we could have stayed friends."

"Well we're friends now." Quinn's words came out slightly slurred but her lips held a huge smile which made Finn smile back at her.

"You're right. We are friends." He replied as they stopped at her apartment door.

Quinn began searching for her keys and when she found them her big hazel eyes found his dark brown ones. "Thanks for walking me home" she whispered.

Finn took a step closer to her, "You're very welcome."

"Maybe you should stay… you're really drunk."

"Not too drunk to call an uber." Finn mumbled realizing just how close they were. Suddenly he couldn't help himself and he leaned forward to kiss her softly. Quinn returned the kiss, with slightly more intensity and Finn's fingers wound their way into her hair.

"Maybe I don't want to be your friend" He whispered pulling away from her a bit.

She smiled, "How about you tell me that again in the morning when we're both not drunk."

"Deal"

XXX

It was four thirty, Quinn was getting ready for her date with Finn when she heard her phone vibrating signaling that she'd gotten a text message. She looked at it and saw that it was from Finn.

 **Finn: Hey Quinn, I'm running late at work, let's meet at the restaurant, okay? I love you!**

She sighed, _how did I not see that one coming?_ Quinn typed back a reply.

 **Quinn: Fine with me. See you there soon. XOX**

Quinn arrived at the restaurant exactly at five. Finn had not gotten there yet so she went ahead and got a table. She sat down and the waiter brought out some bread and water as she waited for her husband to arrive.

 _5:30_ He still wasn't there.

Quinn gritted her teeth. Finn usually wasn't late to dates, in fact this was the first one he was ever late to and it made Quinn wonder what exactly was making him late at work. Probably his 'baby'. She thought bitterly, her discovery of the texts coming back to her.

She took a deep breath, _Just wait a few more minutes_.

As she waited her phone started ringing. She saw that it was Puck and ignored the call. It was probably an accident that he'd called her and the last thing she needed was for Finn to walk up and see her on the phone with her Ex-boyfriend.

Ding. Voicemail.

Quinn's curiosity got the best of her and she opened it up:

" _Hey Q, it's me… I'm sorry for calling… you're probably at work or don't want to talk to me which I would understand too… You know what no. I'm not sorry for calling. I am sorry for everything that happened between us. I messed up. I missed you and seeing you the other day brought back so many memories. I have something I want to tell you but this isn't the way to do it. Can we meet soon? Give me a call back. Bye Q."_

She bit her lip. _Do I call back?_

XXX

Quinn was a sophomore in college and she had just switched her major over to nursing. She had spent the last few months in summer school to make up for the deficit in order to progress in the program with everyone else. She had been busy, no time for anything or anyone and it was a great distraction from her heartache.

Just before summer break during her sophomore year Puck had left on deployment. When he came to see her before she left he was different… distant. Quinn, the nosy type that she was, pushed him until he said what was on his mind.

Immediately she wished she hadn't.

"Quinn," he paused taking her hands in his, "I can't do this." Her heart was in her throat, "I can't put you through this. I don't think we should be together. You deserve so much more than what my lifestyle is going to be able to offer you." Tears started to fall, "I'm always going to be away and you deserve someone who can be there to love you. I'm sor-"

She cut him off, "Don't. Don't say you're sorry to me. That's just an excuse. You're a coward Noah Puckerman." Quinn snapped at him.

"Quinn I just want what's best for you."

"Did you ever happen to think that you're what's best for me? That you are the person that makes me happy? That we should have been together? Isn't that what you said all those years? Finally we get to be together and now you've decided that you don't want me anymore. How come all of a sudden I am not enough for you?" Quinn shouted tears streaming down her face.

"Quinn, you are enough. It's not you-" He tried to embrace her and she pushed him away.

"Are you serious? It's not you it's me!" She glared at him, and if looks could kill Noah Puckerman would surely be dead. "I hate you. I actually hate you." Her voice dropped low and calm as the next words left her mouth, "Get out."

And he did.

XXX

Before Quinn could decide if she should call back or not Finn came up and hugged her tightly, "Hey sweetie I'm so sorry I'm late."

Quinn's smile was tight, "its fine. Just an hour late." She shrugged checking her watch and ignoring the slight smell of cheap perfume that was lingering over Finn.

"No, it's not fine. I'm sorry. It will never happen again." He said sliding into the booth across from her.

The waiter came over to their table with a chipper demeanor, "Can I get you both something to drink? Perhaps a beer or some wine?"

"Ah yes, I will have whatever you have on tap and my wife will have a merlot" Finn replied not even looking at the menu. When the waiter walked away Finn opened the menu to decide what he wanted to eat.

"Finn" Quinn stated.

"Hmmm" He replied back, his eyes not leaving the menu.

"What's that on your collar?"

He looked up, "What are you talking about?" he asked opening up the camera on his phone to view the stain on his collar.

"That's lipstick." Quinn remarked.

He set down the phone and sighed, shaking his head. "It's yours. Remember like a week ago we were having a date week and things got a little hot? I only wore the shirt for that night and I just hung it up. Forgot to wash it." He shrugged.

She didn't remember. They hadn't had a date night in two months, they were both always working. "No Finn. We didn't have a date night last week." The waiter set down the glasses and skittered away sensing a tense conversation.

"Have you ever seen me wear hot pink lipstick?" She added curtly crossing her arms and glaring at him across the table.

Finn's eyes widened and he stuttered trying to find a response to her remark.

Quinn stood up picking up the glass of wine with her, "I also don't drink red wine." She spat flinging the contents of her glass all over her husband and storming out of the restaurant.


End file.
